Copyblogger Weekly Wrap: Week of April 18, 2011

I can’t believe I missed my anniversary. Not my wedding anniversary, of course — we know from stand-up comedians that men never forget those — but rather my anniversary as writer of the Copyblogger Weekly Wrap.

The first Wrap ran on March 27 of last year. With the exception of the time I got fired and replaced by Johnny Marr of the Smiths, I can now claim to have brought hundreds of thousands of people a small piece of inanity for a full year. Which is way up from my previous level of annual inanity.

So, like, happy anniversary or something. Where’s my cake?

Here’s what happened this week on Copyblogger:

Monday:

5 Crippling Beliefs That Keep Writers Penniless and Mired in Mediocrity

“King of Mean” Jon Morrow is back with his latest post about why you probably suck, guaranteed to get more of that hate mail he likes so much. But you should pay attention to this one, even if it hurts, because… you know… the penniless/mediocrity thing. Also, I happen to know that it took Jon FOUR HOURS to write just the post title to this one, so the least you can do in light of that effort is to read it.

Read the full post here.

Tuesday:

How to Consistently Attract High-Quality Traffic to Your Site

Copyblogger is throwing a webinar on Monday to tell you how to get more traffic — and not just any old traffic, either… and certainly not Steve Winwood’s psychedelic band “Traffic” — but good, quality traffic. Read this post to find out more about it, and about the other upcoming webinars in this series. By the way, have you ever noticed how weird of a word “traffic” is after you see it and read it a few times? Traffic. Traffic. See?

Read the full post here.

Wednesday:

4 Ways to Keep Your Lifeless Blog from Boring Your Readers to Tears

I was so mad at Pamela Wilson for disparaging my blog in her intro. I mean, I’m just trying to blog here, and all of a sudden she’s on Copyblogger saying how boring I am. I told Charlie Gilkey about it, and he was like, “No way! I just read that and Pamela’s saying I’m boring!” Then I talked to like five other people, and they read it, and it turns out she was saying all of them were boring. She might be saying you’re boring too; read the post and see. (And then learn how to fix your dullness).

Read the full post here.

Thursday:

How to Create Online Content Like an Immortal Renaissance Artist

It’s times like these that I wonder what Donatello did to Matt Gartland to warrant being excluded from yet another copywriting post inspired by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This one is all about what you can learn from the Turtles and the Renaissance artists who totally ripped them off. Want to know how to be a compelling creator and/or lead a band of mutants? We’ve got you covered. Want to wear a purple mask, understand science, and wield a bo staff? Well, too bad, because that guy got left out in the cold.

Read the full post here.

Friday:

The Art of Enchanting Online Marketing

In this episode of the Copyblogger podcast, Brian and Guy Kawasaki talk about enchantment and how to use it in your marketing, but I think all the talk of making people like you is just a clever way to disguise the fact that they’re actually enchanting people in the wizarding sense. Have you ever seen either Brian or Guy publicly declare, “I am not an evil wizard?” No? Well then, I rest my case.

Read the full post here.

This week’s cool links:

• Do You Have Silver Bullet Poisoning?: This post about great-sounding advice that never works out in practice took me back to the good old days with my werewolf brothers, fighting sparkly effeminate vampires for the affection of bored teenage goth girls.
• Hungry or guarded: There are two types of people and two mindsets out there – those who want what you’re offering or those who are wary or uninterested. Which are you targeting?
• 5 Scientifically Proven Ways to Get More Followers: This post comes with some cool charts and will tell you how to get more followers on Twitter. The one that just missed the cut was “#6: Be Lady Gaga.”
• Social Media for SEO vs. Customer Engagement: Which should you use in which scenario, in which proportions? The answer is as fascinating as the crazy apple/orange hybrid thing that appears on this post.

About the Author: Johnny B. Truant, who actually does know a thing or two about business, recently debuted his Bullet Sessions coaching — so bring out your questions (and also your dead).