After Brian didn’t run last week’s Wrap-up due to alleged technical issues, I got nervous and decided that I’d better secure my position around here by showing some evil initiative.
Eventually, after agonizing seconds of brain-wracking agony, I got the idea to defraud advertisers. So I called Xerox.
“This site has nothing to do with copying things,” the Xerox ad rep told me after clicking through a few posts.
“Are you crazy?” I said. “‘Copy’ is in the title. We’re running a series this summer on the many joys of having handy multiples of any document. First up: Filing. Then: Passing brochures out to friends.”
At that point, the Xerox rep hung up on me.
So, while I ponder my next evil plan to secure my position at Copyblogger (and also to rule the entire tri-state area), you might as well read what happened this week:
The Grateful Dead 4-Step Guide to the Magical Influence of Content Marketing
I’ve never liked the Grateful Dead, so I laughed out loud at the joke Brian told in the intro to this post. But then I kept reading and realized that those stoned dudes DID in fact know a thing or two about content marketing, as strange as it may seem. It’s enough to make me contemplate the color of the wind in my mind. Woah… heavy.
Think about it: Why would you possibly encourage bootlegging the way the Dead did? Because hippies or not, that band made a lot of money doing their thing and gained a ton of notoriety. So either it was chance, or they knew what they were up to from the beginning. Either way, I’ll bet they liked brownies.
Read on to find out how you can learn to be just as effective, and also maybe how you can get these huge pink elephants in my office to go away. I tried reading poetry to them, but that only made them turn into tie-dyed screwdrivers that begin disassembling the injustices of the world while Hendrix showed me the true path to zen neuroticism.
Charles Bukowski and the Secret to Immortal Writing
As a budding student of diabolical evil, I really related to what Robert Bruce wrote about Charles Bukowski, “I’ve only spent a few minutes with his now 16-year-old corpse lying in San Pedro.” Which is so funny because I was just lying around with several corpses I have here yesterday, albeit ones far less famous than Bukowski’s. What a coincidence!
What Robert learned from his chat with Bukowski’s corpse (I’m not totally certain here and may have that detail wrong; I was reading this post while hang gliding into a coral reef while on fire) was one tiny little should-be-obvious maxim that can make all the difference for anyone struggling to improve their writing. You don’t need a big instruction manual. You can’t just focus on hooks and structure and whatnot. You need to truly pay attention to one little thing.
I forgot what that one thing is, though. You’ll have to read to find out. I’d look for myself, but I can’t right now because I’m writing this while fighting reanimated mummies with nunchucks.
The 7 Essential Steps to Creating Your Content Masterpiece
Finally, a handy guide to keep your blog from being used to wrap discarded fish!
This post by Mark McGuinness is all about how to make your content last longer, and how to get the most out of your writing. You can write a stream of mediocrity with no real plan for use and have people forgetting your stuff the day after you write it, or you can find ways to use it as part of a whole that becomes your content masterpiece. Just like Bach and that large poodle he wore on his head had going for them.
Honestly: How are you going to do any real evil in the world if nobody remembers what you do and instead uses your stuff to wrap fish and chips?
Landing Page Makeover Clinic #27: HiddenSoy.com
In this latest installment of the Landing Page Makeover Clinic, Roberta Rosenberg turns her watchful eye on HiddenSoy.com, a site dedicated to sniffing out (wait for it) the hidden dangers of soy in everyday foods — soy being something the site’s owner isn’t a fan of and doesn’t exactly think is health food, to put it mildly.
In this post, Roberta gives her 10-point critique of the site’s landing page, identifying ways that it can better convert visitors into more sales of the book The Hidden Dangers of Soy. But the bigger question (one that remains unasked and therefore suspiciously unanswered) is “WHO exactly is behind this nefarious soy plot?” Because it’s a sublimely evil plot, on par with a scheme to SET FIRE TO THE SUN! And what’s their purpose? Is it to decrease consumption of animal protein? Is it about eliminating a soy surplus? Does it have anything to do with “big laundry?” (I forgot what that means, but I promise you it’s evil.)
Anyway, check this post out if for no other reason than to fight Big Soy. It’s more important than just you or me.
Friday’s post was kind of poetic, so it doesn’t lend itself well to me writing a teaser other than for me to say “read it,” so I’ll just offer two quick things before repeating that you should read it:
1. Stephen King said “The book is the boss,” and Brian Clark said, “The writer runs this show.” Coincidence? Or are they the same person? Yet another unsolved and persistent mystery.
2. If I were invited to a dinner party thrown by zombies, I’d never go. Aside from the constant worry over whether I was there FOR dinner or AS dinner, I’ll bet the whole situation would be really awkward. And you know the conversation would be absolutely terrible:
“So, where do you and the family summer?”
You get the idea.
Anyway, read brains Brian’s manifesto on the real importance of writing here.
About the Author: Johnny B. Truant is a cartoonish supervillain who blogs at JohnnyBTruant.com and is behind many extraordinarily evil schemes involving space laser-inators and giant baking soda volcanos.
Reader Comments (12)
I know this doesn’t go here, but can i ask how can is that you guys put the Tweetme button on the main page, I mean, not inside the single post, but on the main page.
Can you guys give me hand with that?
Brian Clark says
Fernando, go into your Tweetmeme settings (link on the bottom of the left WP admin sidebar), check the box next to “Display the button on the front page (home),” Click Save Changes.
Toronto Dentist :) says
Johnny B. never fails to crack me up. There’s something irresistible about these redneck-savant summaries.
Oh, thanks, I just realized that there was a plugin for it lol, last question and please don’t hate me, how did u put the Facebook “Share” icon next to it?
Thanks Brian, I love this blog, always good information and such a fast feedback!
Damn, I forgot to say, is there a way I can also put the Facebook “Share” icon on the main page, too?
Brian Clark says
The Facebook thing is a plugin as well. It has almost identical functionality for showing on the home page.
I read this late, after hours and hours just trying by myself, making lots of errors, I did it!
I wish I knew there was a plugin for that! But anyway, thanks again.
I couldn’t find in the thesis forums, how to change the sidebar colour, I mean, there is a post about it, but it doesn’t change the whole colour of it, not until the footer, it only colours the part widgets are on it.
How did you guys do on coppyblogger?
Thanks in advance, srsly, im loving this place more and more.
Okay, I think you may have just secured my undying loyalty (maybe for the next week or so) for that tri-state area bit.
(And the laser-inator, too.)
Gary David | Build Your List Fast says
Thanks for sharing this. I’m just wondering how can I get a Facebook icon to my main page. Anyway, this is an amazing post.
Keep it up!
Susan T. Blake says
Although I sometimes succumb and read the posts as they come out, I always wait for JBT’s wrap up. Even if he is a supervillain. I think he’s lying about being a Deadhead, though.
Mark McGuinness says
To be honest, I was amazed you guys hadn’t covered it before. It was what we in the UK like to call ‘an open goal’. 😉
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