Landing Page Makeover Clinic #13:

Landing Page Makeover Clinic #13:

Reader Comments (29)

  1. These copy suggestions make a lot of sense. Value prop is very clear now. The visual design of the page seems less than compelling to me. I think adding in a crisp design with your copy suggestions would add credibility to this page.

  2. Membership programs seem to be all the rage right now, so its nice to get an idea of how to promote it, the best promotion is probably great content also, im in a few memberships myself, some of which deliver slower than DHL!.

  3. The trial period is way too short. Over 1200 pages of material and only 3 days to review it? If they sign up at all, they’ll rush to see if it will be useful, then rush to cancel.

    Give them at least 30 days. First, your conversion will go up because people will think they have time to review it. Second, your retention will go up. If I’ve got three days, I’ll be thinking about that deadline the whole time. Give me a month and it’ll slip my mind.

    Also, you’re hiding that time frame in tiny type way at the bottom. Instead you should brag about it. “Take 30 days to decide it it’s right for you! And when you see how great it is, all you have to do is keep using it. We’ll hook you up with the quarterly membership.”

  4. I agree that these tweaks help a ton. As far as what else could be done, I’d change the “Retail versus Online Access” section (on the revised page) to a grid-like format — and definitely add the membership price side by side with the higher price so you can actually compare them. That would make the pricing part A LOT more appealing.

  5. There’s still one major problem – the old “only $9.95” with an asterisk, then in VERY small print, the autorenew at $24.95 per quarter. This bait-and-switch is an autoturnoff. Why not be upfront, and sell the membership at $8.95 per month. Once prospects are convinced that’s a value, then give them a trial. If the $8.95/month requires a commitment, say so, and then “but try it for a week – if you cancel by then, your full membership will be refunded no questions asked”
    It’s the G Generation. You have to give to get. And above all, be honest.

  6. Specify Brian’s hourly rate (not $100s, but $250, or whatever the number is).

    Rather than “access to chapters as they’re written”, say something that sounds more important, such as early preview, or exclusive first look.

    Posting questions or suggestions for the books sounds like help for the author (rather than the customer). How about “get tough questions answered directly by Brian,” with examples of what they might be (learn how to do X or Y).

    I second the comment that three days is too short. Make it 30 days for $24.95 up front. And highlight a “risk-free” guarantee. “After 30 days, if you’re not satisfied, let us know and we’ll refund your money. Offer something they can keep regardless.

  7. The asterisk is ALWAYS a turn-off for me because it just screams, “We’re trying to get one over on you, steal your money and send you to the poorhouse without you ever knowing it.” The 3-day trial and auto-renew suggests the same thing.

    I understand the auto-renew from a sales standpoint (hey, maybe people will forget!), but it always strikes me as sneaky, sneaky, sneaky, and also that it’s a product the seller isn’t convinced the buyer will want if all info is clear and upfront.

    Drew’s suggestion tempers the sneakiness a bit (spin the auto-renew as a benefit to the customer, not the business), but I would still shy away from it unless the product was something I was hands-down convinced I needed–like access to understanding how to be a better copywriter (oh, wait).

    Also, the color scheme makes my eyes burn. In fact, the page layout in general makes me a little stressed out.

    But, props for posting your page for everyone to see. It’s not always easy being constructively criticized, but it’s almost always beneficial.

  8. I love these so much.

    It’s funny how you can obsess over a page and work on it and put everything into it, but a fresh set of eyes (especially fresh eyes with a lot of experience in this area) will find so many opportunities for improvement.

  9. This is a tricky business alright. Dozens of people have visited my Squidoo lens on REMO, but only 2 have joined through me. Yet I suspect others are joining directly, as REMO is steadily approaching 40,000 members & my designs are flying out the door as their free signup gifts! This gives me a warm fuzzy, but it ain’t feeding my pets. My (futile?!) quest for the right formula continues…

  10. Carissa, I know it can seem like spin, but I’m not talking about “tempering the sneakiness”. I’m saying don’t be sneaky. Change the offering so that it actually is a benefit to the user.

  11. There is a respectable art to all of this..what was it Andy Warhol said? The greatest art is making money. These are terrific practical tips that we will file away for future use for our clients.

  12. Thanks for the tips.

    Landing pages are something I need to learn more about if I’m going to make any money when I jumped into affiliate marketing sometime this year.

  13. Great post. The new landing page is much more compelling:

    – If access to Brian is a big part of the sell, we do need some personal connection with him. Even if not a video, maybe a photo. Definitely a first-person quote:

    “Hi, I’m Brian Bischoff. If you join me, then I can offer you…” etc.

    I don’t like that the sign-up button is right at the very bottom of the screen. That feels weird to me. Let us scroll a bit further so that the sign up button is nearer the middle of the screen.

  14. great makeover & some excellent comments here

    the other thing I’d add to the page would be a yes-yes price grid based on sean d’souzas ideas.

    check out products for sale on to see what I mean…
    get’s them focusing on value rather than price
    by offering something of very high value for a tiny increase in price

    example in this case
    the $8.95 trial
    or $9.25 trial that includes a couple of bonues (eg interview, video, glossary or spreadsheet worth another $39)

  15. One thing else that may help boost some conversions is simply adding more easily visible signup buttons; say in between the ‘Retail vs..’ and customer testimonials.

    Am definitely a fan of the LP Makeover series. Excellent read.

  16. How about that, I just rediscovered a principle from the world’s first professional copywriter, John Powers.

    Me: “Change the offering so that it actually is a benefit to the user.”

    Powers: “The next thing is to stick to the truth, and that means rectifying whatever’s wrong in the merchant’s business. If the truth isn’t tellable, fix it so it is. That is about all there is to it.”

  17. Roberta, thanks for sharing…great stuff. A quick summary of my issues (some from above), based off of the new design:

    a. Lime green is bad. This is an easy change and definitely should be done.

    b. Image needs to be improved. You can have a new, professional looking image created for $100, it is well worth it. You will get a huge pop just from a good image alone. Seriously, this image just makes these books look boring and unreadable. Where’s your picture? It should be there. Why don’t you use screen shots of the pages of the books showing diagrams, charts or something relatively exciting from inside the book?

    c. Your offer is not clear. $9.95 for what? Try what? Is this a membership site? Do I get hardcopy books or PDFs? I have to work way too hard to figure out what you are selling and what I get.

    d. Price grid needs to be fixed. YOU are valuable. More valuable than the books. YOU need to be listed on this price grid somehow. Old books or books on the version of CR that I am NOT using really are of no use or value to me. I will instantly discount that value you in my head. I get free shipping from Amazon, pay no taxes at Amazon and can have a hard copy book in 2 days. YOU are valuable. Start selling yourself.

    Overall, if you want me to spend $9.95/month (and stay subscribed), the only way it is happening is if you (or other forum members) are there for me to help out answering questions. Otherwise, I am probably done after one month…a hard copy book is of more value to me.

    Good Luck,


  18. I know it can seem like spin, but I’m not talking about “tempering the sneakiness”. I’m saying don’t be sneaky. Change the offering so that it actually is a benefit to the user.

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