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Are You a Copywriting Hotshot? Test Your Skills in an Email Marketing Duel

written by Daniel Burstein
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Are You a Copywriting Hotshot? Test Your Skills in an Email Marketing Duel

The deadline for this contest has closed, but stay tuned for a post in early January announcing the winners of the split test!

Picture this. Sonia Simone and me in an advertising agency conference room.

She pitches her headline to the account executive.

I pitch mine …

… and promptly get blown out of the water. It doesn’t matter which headline is better. Sonia is a legend. So the account executive goes with the better copywriter, not the better headline, 10 times out of 10.

So let’s try scenario B …

This time, we don’t ask the account exec’s opinion on which headline is better. (Steaks-and-strategy sessions with the client aside, he doesn’t know anyway.)

This time, after Sonia presents her headline, I whip off one of the dainty white gloves I’m prone to wear, slap her across the face, and say, “Madame, I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a duel!”

When you don’t know the answer, let the customer decide

I wouldn’t let Sonia choose pistols at dawn. Instead, our weapon would be a split test.

Half of prospective customers would be exposed to Sonia’s headline and half to mine. And then we’d see, under real-world conditions where customers don’t even know they’re making a choice, which headline was really more effective.

On the surface of it, testing your copy seems like a great way to improve conversion and learn more about your customers. And it is. As Brian Clark says, “Conversion optimization is the coolest thing.”

But beyond the customer, think how A/B testing can help you

As a writer, I pride myself on my pitching ability.

But … I still hate pitching. At heart, I’m a writer, not a salesman.

So, imagine, if instead of having to pitch and convince the account executive or the client why your headline is better than the jargon-filled, scalable-automated-solution they normally prefer … you could just show them.

Let us show you how it’s done …

Give us your best subject line for a chance to win a ticket to Email Summit 2014 (plus hotel)

To give you a real example of A/B testing you can participate in, and test your copywriting mettle, I’m not going to challenge Sonia to a duel.

I’m challenging you.

To be more specific, Copyblogger and MarketingExperiments are pitting our audiences against each other for an A/B testing duel.

If you scroll down, you’ll see the exact copy of an email we are going to send promoting MarketingSherpa Email Summit in Las Vegas.

We’re asking you to write the best subject line you can think of, and leave it as a comment for this blog post.

Then Sonia and the Copyblogger team will read each and every comment and hand-pick the five subject lines they think will perform best. We’ll pick five subject lines from the MarketingExperiments blog as well (you can see the blog post announcing this contest to our audience here).

We’ll then run all 10 of those subject lines in a split test.

The writer of the subject line that generates the largest number of unique clickthroughs will receive a complimentary ticket to Email Summit 2014. We’ll even put you up in the host hotel, the Aria resort, for two nights.

The writer of the subject line that gets the highest open rate (clickthrough rate is our primary KPI, or key performance indicator, but opens will be a secondary KPI), will receive complimentary access to the MECLABS Email Messaging Online Course.

Rule Number 1, no touching of the hair or face.

As for the rest of the rules, they’re right here. Deadline is December 10, 2013.

Make sense? Great, let’s see what you’ve got. Below is the email we will be sending. Write your best subject line, and leave it as a comment to this blog post. Easy peasy.

[Send Dates: December 16-20, 2013]
[Sender: Pamela Markey]
[Audiences: MarketingSherpa + MarketingExperiments lists]
[Subject Line:] TBD

Hello [xxxx],

The last day to take advantage of the Early Bird Discount ($300 off) for Email Summit 2014 tickets is January 9, 2014. If you plan to be out of the office for the holidays, be sure to book your ticket before your vacation so you don’t miss out on this special rate.

MarketingSherpa Email Summit 2014 promises to provide you with a great experience and an opportunity to learn what is and isn’t working in email marketing today. All case study presentations focus on real results with practical concepts you can use to do your job better. Come learn from your peers at companies like 3M, Dell, Porsche and Whirlpool.

If you want to learn how to grow your list, boost your performance and increase email ROI, join us at the Aria Resort & Casino Las Vegas on Feb. 17-20, 2014 for Email Summit 2014. Order your tickets today so you don’t miss out on the Early Bird price before it expires January 9, 2014.

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me anytime at p.markey@meclabs.com.

I hope to see you there!

Sincerely,
Pamela Markey
Senior Director, Marketing
MarketingSherpa

Recap:

  • To enter the contest, write the strongest email subject line for the above message that you can.
  • Leave your entry as a comment in this blog post.
  • The best five entries from Copyblogger will be tested, along with the best five entries from the MarketingExperiments blog.
  • The writer of the subject line that generates the largest number of unique clickthroughs will receive a complimentary ticket to Email Summit 2014, and we’ll put you up in the host hotel, the Aria resort, for two nights.
  • The writer of the subject line that gets the highest open rate will receive complimentary access to the MECLABS Email Messaging Online Course.
  • The deadline is December 10, 2013.

Fire up your creative engines, and may the best writer win!

P.S. – Whenever you’re ready, here are 4 ways we can help you:
  1. Copyblogger Academy - Our community gives you 9 full-length marketing courses (over 30 hours of education total), ongoing education, expert Q&A, and more. Join 1500+ members inside.
  2. Content Coaching - If you want hands-on assistance with your content, SEO, social media, or personal brand, we’d be happy to help. Hit that link and enter your information to learn more.
  3. Newsletter Sponsorship - We'll put your product, service, or lead magnet in front of at least 30,000 people. We'll also help you write persuasive copy for it. Fill out the form to see if we're a good fit.
  4. Digital Commerce Partners - If you want us to fully manage your blog and SEO, you can hire our agency partner, who applies our exact methodology. Fill out this form to apply for our program.

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Reader Comments (362)

  24. Are you being ignored by those you reach out to? Then grab a seat at the Email Summit 2014 and save $300 when you book early.

  29. Save $ & Make $: Get to our 2014 Las Vegas Email Summit Using Your Early Bird Special Discount

  64. So 3 blind mice go to Vegas, one rolls the dice, one throws the rice, and one thinks twice-who’s reading our emails?

  84. The Early Bird Gets the Word…on what’s working in email marketing today! Be an early bird and save $300 today!

  92. Early birds! Book your place at Email Summit 2014 TODAY and save $300.

    Email Summit 2014: Don’t miss our great value Early Bird special – offer ends soon!

    Get ahead with email marketing – book today and save $300.

    Join us at Email Summit 2014 – Early Bird discount available now!

    See you in Vegas! Book now for your place at Email Summit 2014

  96. Great contest! I didn’t see a limit on the number of entries, so here are a few:

    What Does Vegas Have to Do With Email Marketing? It Turns Out EVERYTHING

    How a Trip To Vegas Can Turn You Into an Email Marketing Hotshot

    What 3M, Dell and Porsche Can Teach You About Email Marketing

    Learn the Secrets of Insanely Successful Email Marketing from 3M, Dell and Porsche

    What the World’s Most Brilliant Email Marketers Wish You Knew

    What Top Hotshot Email Marketers Wish You Knew

    From Their Brains to Yours: Email Marketing Lessons from the World’s Best Marketers

    Advanced Email Marketing Lessons from The World’s Most Brilliant Marketers

  103. RE: Open this email so I can give you yet another “last day to take advantage” sales pitch while waving a “$300 off” discount (because I’m too embarrassed to state its real price and value to stand on its own), so that wow, you can be an “Early Bird” (can I, can I, a bird). This will be so important (whatever this “MerketingSherpa Email Summit 2014” thing is, as if they really think I memorize past “great experiences” deleted emails) that you should re-prioritize your own family vacation plans because we will deliver an “opportunity to learn” (just an opportunity folks, don’t get too excited) and let me close by asking (in a condescending way) do “you want to learn how to grow … boost your performance … and increase your …” great Scott I got it … come to Vegas for SEX … “order your tickets today” … “don’t miss out” … “offer expires”.

    Okay, too long for an Email Subject Line … but it’s honest. It may not matter how pretty a bow you can craft to put on this message (of course I’m not a copywriter). So my honest answer (fun aside) is to leave the Subject blank and hope nobody reads it to save your reputation!

    • Honestly, I agree with Tom. The subject line may generate opens, but it’s the copy within the email that leads to click throughs (the KPI chosen) and from a copy writing perspective… this email is pretty weak.

      And unlike Tom, I AM a copywriter 😉

      Also, this post includes no real info about the target audience. — — How did these people end up on this list?
      — Are they all folks who went last year, just people that read free stuff from the website or have they spent money with the organization in some other way?
      — Are these people even the key decision makers?

      All that matters A LOT. It builds a context for this email that can be used to help craft a strategy for getting them to open and click through.

      • That said, here’s my subject line:

        Email Summit 2014: Does your email work hard enough? Discount ends 1/9.

      • Thanks for the questions. All great questions Melissa.

        – While we have more targeted and segmented sends, this particular send is going to the entire list for both MarketingExperiments and MarketingSherpa. A list this size will allow us to test many subject lines and get a large enough sample size to have statistically significant results for CTR. So they end up on the list in a variety of ways. Some have attended previous summits or bought products from us in the past. Some only read free content or attended a webinar. For example, here are some of the MarketingSherpa newsletters they can sign up for… http://www.marketingsherpa.com/newsletters.html

        – Much like the above, it’s a mix of decision makers, and those that have to get approval from a decision maker.

        I hope this info helps, and thanks for your subject line idea.

  106. Create Emails that get the Click
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    Do Your Email Campaigns Feel Like a Crap-Shoot?

    Losing Money on Poor Performing Email Campaigns?

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  108. Here are three versions for you:

    Rags to Riches E-mail Marketing

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    Secrets of Rags to Riches E-mail Marketing

  116. Having trouble with Email ROI? Last chance: save $300, improve email results – Email marketing Summit

  128. A: Calling all penny-wise, punctual pigeons!
    B: Here’s an extra $300 to slip into favorite slot machine…
    C: You could win big with savings like these…
    D: Forget the worm…

  129. A reality check? In Vegas? For once, it’s true.

    Do better lines in Vegas. (Here’s three 100 dollar bills to get you started.)

    • “Do better lines in Vegas. (Here’s three 100 dollar bills to get you started.)”

      This one is the most funny and shareable of all 🙂

  134. MarketingSherpa Email Summit 2014 – Early Bird Special – $300 Savings

    or

    Stop Sending Emails That Suck…

  135. Are you really an early bird if this is the last chance?

    Last one to Vegas picks up the bar tab!

    • Sorry made a mistake above…

      Amended headline below.

      **Do I have to physically come to your home to deliver your Xmas present or are you going to grab it right now? Killer deal inside…

  144. You can better the odds your emails are opened – and save $300 on a trip to Vegas

  155. 1. We know what makes people click…Do you?

    2. Kick Ass e-marketing techniques that go straight to the bottom line

    • Interesting… I would think you would be exempt, but hey welcome to your own party. 🙂

      What I find interesting about your subject line is you MUST be going for CTR vs. Opens.

      I’d love to hear your rationale on that.

      • Well, we can start with the fact that clickthrough is what Daniel is measuring for this test. 😉

        From there — ask yourself as a marketer. Why would clickthroughs be what’s measured vs. opens?

        Every entrant would do well to sit down and consider why Brian’s entry is structured the way it is.

        • Exactly… clearly there’s an insight that most of us appear to be missing.

          Here’s at least a bit of where my head’s at. I’d love to get your take on it Sonia.

          With the understanding that the subject line and body copy need to live and work together as a team, within reason, I’ve always used the subject line to drive opens and body copy to tell a convincing story and pitch the product.

          This is why I (and I suspect many of the others) have focused on driving opens with the headline. We are relying on the body copy to do the heavy lifting and drive CTRs.

          With an awesome list and great customer loyalty you might not need much “convincing” to get people to open your mails and take quick action, but I’m not sure this conference has the awareness and brand to generate that kind of gravitational pull.

          • Brock,
            My bet is that the entire subject line is targeted at click thrus. That is, it won’t get a high open rate but those who do open it are highly likely to click. It’s very relevant to the subject matter, and therefore represents exactly what’s inside…

  161. “Demystified: Santa, Elvis & Email Marketing”

    “$12 Check From Grandma Or $300 From Us”

    “Holla Fo Yo Dollar: Email Marketing For Results”

  165. “So A Priest, A Rabbi & Email Marketer Walk Into This bar…”

    “Epic Fail: Marketing Email Blunders & The Fix”

    “Call Me About This Email.”

    “Vegas & Hundred Dollar Bills, Son!”

  169. Cold? Come to Vegas.

    The most important email you’ll ever read.

    Stop sending bad emails.

    You can write this subject line better than we can.

    There’s a reason people read your emails.

    Find out why people read your emails.

    Now or never

    The perfect chaser to Valentine’s Day

  177. 1. Your job security depends on it: how to improve your email campaign metrics and become indispensable at it

    2. How to optimize emails and influence people

    3. Don’t let the noise of urgency create the illusion of importance – and it is important for your career to be at the Summit

    4. Hone your audience-listening skills: learn about the latest findings in email performance improvement

    And, my favorite quote, by C.S. Lewis: “The universe rings true whenever you fairly test it”. Not sure if can be used in a subject line, but it speaks to me as an expert tester.

  181. Are you ready for take-off? Join us, but hurry! Our early-bird deals are ready for flight!

  189. What Do Dell and Porshe Know About Email Marketing That You Don’t? Your Ticket to Increased ROI

  190. Are you going to delete this $300 email?

    SALE! SAve & LEarn for a Better ROI on 2014!

    Save $300 & Save your business: Email Summit 2014

    Your Emails Should Be Rewarding…like this onel

  191. The Best Christmas Present for a Brighter Future! Email Summit 2014

    Put Bad Emails in the Past. The Future is Better through Email Summit 2014

  195. Running out if idea for headlines? Vegas Email Summit 2014!

    Writing better emails as new year resolution? Vegas Email Summit 2014!

    Email Summit 2014! Reason inside.

    Trip to Vegas? Reason inside.

    Email not a good marketing tool? Think again.

  199. Open eyes & ears to your emails. Knowledge is power and the location is Vegas. Registration is limited.

  201. Here is my entry :

    ✔ [xxxx] Get Your Early Bird Discount & Full Value Expertise

    tick + first name + action + first letter caps + consistency with the email message

  203. Subject:

    “The Email Marketing Secrets Used By Industry Giants (including Porsche, 3M, Dell, Whirlpool and more…)”

    Background:

    The biggest benefit should be in the subject line because its only role is to get someone to open and read the email. Including the “proof” (company names) in there will increase response too.

    The “$300 discount for only 1 more day..” is the offer to induce a response to the email so I’d place it after the “here’s what you get on this great day…” part of the main body – generate the desire for attending first.

    Once the reader wants to attend, then they discover they can book now and save some money, I believe they will be more likely to respond to the $300 discount deal.

    I also have an idea for a different deal that could generate more interest and increase the profit from each ticket sale. Email me if you want to hear it (sorry for hogging page space!)

  208. A Calculated Gamble – Save $300 on Email Summit 2014 in Vegas

    Save $300 on the Most Important Email Marketing Event of the Year

  215. We’re as serious as you are about email marketing. And we get serious results.

    We promise to save you $300. And we don’t make promises we can’t keep.

  226. “Open vs CTR: Email Summit 2014 Discount Now”

    “Tune Out, Turn Off & Reboot: Email Summit 2014”

    “Wordsmith Bets Sure Thing. Leaves Vegas Richer. Email Summit 2014.”

  230. A few for the MECLABS team to noodle on:

    – E-mail Secrets From Porsche And More

    – Want Better Results From Your Email Marketing In 2014?

    – Save $300 And Transform Your Email Marketing – Email Summit 2014

    – Early Bird Access: $300 Off Email Summit 2014

    – Treat Yourself To $300 Off Email Summit 2014

    – see you in Vegas, ~FIRSTNAME~?

    – Reserve Your Seat: $300 Off Email Summit 2014

    – An Early Holiday Gift For Better E-mail Marketing In 2014

    – $300 Savings | Vegas | More ROI From Email In 2014

    – Master E-mail Marketing For 2014

    – Last Call: Save $300 On Email Summit 2014

    – Re: Your $300 Email Summit Savings (expires soon)

    – [Exclusive] $300 Early Bird Discount For Email Summit 2014

    ——————–
    Thanks!

    – Mike

  231. “Why will work pay for your Vegas vacation? Find out now.”

    “Why work will pay for your Vegas vacation”

    “New year, New email strategy, Save $300…Done!”

    “You’re on Santa’s “good” list: Get your $300 present now”

    “Use It or Lose It, save $300 by booking today”

    “Want a better email strategy in 2014? Book and save $300 today.”

    “Check this off your work wish list and save $300 now”

  234. “Guaranteed to win big in Vegas. Email Summit 2014. Save $300 now.”

    “Guaranteed to win big in Vegas @ Email Summit 2014. Last chance to save.”

    “Don’t gamble with email in 2014. Last chance to save $300.”

    “Vegas slots = Gamble. Email Summit 2014 = Guarantee”

  237. Dear Copyblogger Copywriting Contest Coordinator,

    Please consider testing the following subject lines:

    Reminder: Claim Your $300 Savings by Jan 9
    Reminder: Your $300 Discount Ends Jan 9
    Reminder: Use Your $300 Coupon by Jan 9

    How to Save $300 on Your Email Summit Tix
    Easy Way to Save $300 on Your Email Summit Tix

    Thank you,

    Adala Suzette Zelman

  248. 1. Start saving $300 now and more forever – Email Summit 2014 – Learn, Earn and Fun at a Single Shot

    2. Grab the Great Gift – Now or Never – Save $300 and make more through Email Summit 2014

    3. Deal of Dollars – Delete it or Dream it – rapid return of $300 – Email Summit 2014

    4. Income in your Inbox – earn $300 now and make more through Email Summit 2014.

    5. Income flies through Inbox to Account – save $300 now and succeed in Email Marketing forever – Attend Email Summit 2014

    6. Deal of Dollars – Ignore or Achieve – Save $300 immediately and achieve more eventually – Email Summit 2014

    7. Earn before it Expired – Save $300 firs time and more forever with Email Summit 2014

    8. Save before Expired – Immediate action is needed.

  250. Following are some eye-catching Subject lines

    – Start saving $300 now and more forever – Email Summit 2014 – Learn, Earn and Fun at a Single Shot

    – Grab the Great Gift – Now or Never – Save $300 and make more through Email Summit 2014

    – Deal of Dollars – Delete it or Dream it – rapid return of $300 – Email Summit 2014

    – Income in your Inbox – earn $300 now and succeed in Email Marketing forever – Attend Email Summit 2014

  253. At last! Experts reveal secrets of Email-Marketing. Be one of the first to know and save yourself a lot of Money.

  257. I finally had an epiphany about e-mail headlines. The ones I usually delete (when the don’t end up in my spamfolder myself) are the ones with:

    a) Save $ (Insert number here)
    b) Early birds or any other animal that is early
    c) Vegas
    d) E-mailmarketing
    e) Register/buy now and…
    f) Mentioning ticketsales

    Re-reading all 268 previous posts (including my own) made me realise there are not many that wouldn’t end up in my own spamfolder.

    Based on these findings my entry for this contest is:

    “Sherpa invites you to learn from your peers (like 3M, Dell, Porsche and Whirlpool) at Email Summit 2014”

    This is the one I would click: a personal invitation, with reference to businesses with authority, a clear sendername and the title of the event. No spammy words at all what so ever. I might even click the link in the e-mail 🙂

  260. The simple, direct nature of Brian Clark’s entry really blew my mind. Sometimes, the catchy and “creative” solution is not always the most effective one.

    Here’s my entry:

    MarketingSherpa freezes Email Summit 2014 discount on January 9th

  261. 1. Here’s the $300 we told you about.

    2. Thank you for your inquiry. Yes, there’s a $300 discount.

    3. $300 says you can’t beat this subject line.

    4. Defeat delete and save $300.

  266. Put down your “WILL TWERK FOR CLICKS” sign and become a better email marketer now @ Email Summit 2014

    NO SOUP FOR YOU! Your menu: Irresistible Subject Lines, Kick Ass Emails and 300 Big Ones for You now at Email Summit 2014

    CHA CHING!!! $300…Irresistible Subject Lines…Kick Ass Emails…at Email Summit 2014…in Vegas, BABY!

  278. They aren’t opening your emails? Now’s the time to open ours

    Don’t open this email unless you want to keep your job

    Learn to double your CTR at Email Summit 2014. Book now and save $300!

    Limited time offer: Save $300 and increase your open rate in Vegas!

  279. 1. Your Email Summit 2014 Welcome Package Enclosed
    2. Your unfair advantage in email marketing (open now)
    3. Email summit 2014 limited engagement – join us now

  282. They aren’t opening your emails? Now’s the time to open ours

    Don’t open this email unless you want to keep your job

    Learn to double your CTR at Email Summit 2014. Book now and save $300!

  284. Sonia said:

    “Every entrant would do well to sit down and consider why Brian’s entry is structured the way it is.”

    Brian’s entry was:

    “Email Summit 2014 discount ends January 9”

    My consideration:

    Trust–> What it is really about? “Email Summit 2014” Plain and simple. No hype. Don’t you hate hype? Always makes me feel like someone is trying to sell me something. 🙂

    Utility–>What’s in it for me? “discount.” Because that is what is going to make me take action.

    Urgency–>Why now? “ends January 9” So now not only am I going to open this email because I deem it useful due to Brian Clark’s Authority, but I’m not going to waste time getting to that click through button.

    How did I do?

    Thank you all at Copyblogger for making this contest so transparent. This is my fantasy of how Authority must operate. I am so there in 2014.

    And speaking of fantasies…aside from desperately wanting to go in to alter my submission in to the essay contest. [finally figured how to tighten the piece up enough to slip in a clarifying sentence]…yeah, didn’t think so–I dream about a contest that would have as its prize to work for Copyblogger. Planting the seed. Or is that something on the other side of the Authority divide?

    My headline entry? I’ll post that before the deadline…after I reread “How to Write Magnetic Headlines” for the umpteenth time.

  285. Thank you – what a relaxing ‘challenge’ to play with after five straight hours of coaching. Here’s what I have;

    Don’t Be the Only Bird Without a Worm – Less Than 24 Hours to Catch the $300 Early Bird Discount for the 2014 Email Summit

  292. “How Savvy Marketers Like You From Dell & 3M Are Writing Killer Emails”

    “Would You Like Dell & 3M Marketers Show You How To Write Kick-Ass Emails?”

  295. Write emails that actually get opened—and save $300

    Urgent—your last chance to save $300

    Go to Vegas, Baby, save your company $300 & be an Email genius

    Be an Email Master–last chance to save $300

    Last chance! Save $300 & become and Email Guru

  296. Here’s two:

    For a sure thing: Place your bets on the E-mail summit in Las Vegas

    $Ching, $Ching – a sure $300 win if you play before January 9th!

  301. Gain Email Marketing Mastery and Get $300 Off—Offer Ends Jan 9

    Email Summit 2014: Big Secrets Spilled, Big Bucks Off, Small Window Closes Soon

    Save $300, Visit Vegas and Learn Jedi Email Marketing Tricks—Discount Ends Soon!

  307. How Porsche Zoomed through Email Marketing

    Learn the 3 Ms of 3M’s Email Marketing Strategy

    How Dell Makes Irresistible Email Marketing Deals

    Email Summit with Dell, Porsche, and 3M – Register before January 9, 2014

  312. Can you imagine your list, performance, + email ROI on the launch pad. Imagine getting them airborne with an exciting (time sensitive!) $300 discount!! 3…. 2…. 1….. You’ll have Lift-Off!!!

  314. “Better Email ROI’S & $300 In Vegas”

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    “Vegas & $300 – Take A Gamble & Open This”

  317. Another one from me 🙂

    Have A Sheery Christmas! Thinking about email marketing in 2014? Read on to learn more, save $300 and go to Vegas.

    P.S. Sherry and Cheery: Sheery :). Sherry seems to be popular this Christmas.

  319. Decide Now and Save $300. Is Your Future Worth It?
    Act Now or Forever Hold Your Peace. Save $300 on Email Summit ‘14
    Email Marketing Intelligence Plus $300 – Your Future Depends on It
    Forget Christmas, Join the 4 Days of Email Marketing and Save $300

  332. Check it out – Save $300 to Email Summit 2014
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    Open Me and Save! $300 off to Email Summit 2014

  337. Las Vegas Email Summit 2014 – Only Early Birds save $300 & impress their bosses. Reserve today before prices go up!

  338. New Year’s Resolution #1: Learn Results-Based Email Marketing Techniques That Work, plus Save $300

  339. Time is running out to save $300 on Email Summit 2014

    Going to Email Summit 2014? Here’s a $300 discount. But hurry – sale ends January 9.

    Tick Tock – Email Summit 2014 discounted registration ends soon.

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