You know the drill: another day, another piece of content to connect with your audience.
You churn out post after post, social media update after social media update — typing, typing, typing all the way, all day.
It reminds me of that classic Dunkin’ Donuts commercial, “Time to make the donuts.”
We are all like that little round Fred the Baker dragging our sorry selves to our keyboards to create yet another readable, but forgettable, post.
I say, enough of this twaddle. Let’s shut down this blog and be done with it.
Think that’s going too far?
Listen: It was just a matter of time.
A brief history of the best decisions we ever made
In what I am told was a long, torturous, heartsick, alarming, and titanic (yada yada) decision, Copyblogger closed comments on the blog. Something about the conversation moving to other platforms and too much spam.
I couldn’t care less.
All I could think was, “Holy hell, Copyblogger actually has backbone! I want to work there.”
So I came onboard. But still, I had my doubts. And in no time, my suspicions were confirmed: that backbone was weak.
Until October 17, 2014.
That’s when Erika Napoletano (who is bigger than a taco, but smaller than an Airstream trailer, making her the ideal researcher) announced that it would be easier for Brian Clark to have a baby, and for that baby to be a two-headed, whiskey-drinking greyhound, and for that two-headed whiskey-drinking greyhound to start a podcast, and for that podcast to end world hunger, than for Copyblogger fans to engage on Facebook.
So we killed our Facebook page.
My faith was restored. But only temporarily.
Am I the only one who saw the writing on the wall?
With the closing of comments and the death of our Facebook page, I thought it would only be a matter of time before we shut down the blog.
Imagine my surprise when that didn’t happen. During a routine editorial meeting I said, “So, when are we shutting down the blog? What are we waiting for?”
You would’ve thought everyone on that video call had just found themselves with nothing but a wig and a pocketknife in a bathhouse full of limber freemasons.
At that point, I knew I had my work cut out for me. And this was going to take more than a little cajoling. So I convinced them to make me VP of Educational Content — the person who oversees the blog.
I had to do something. This blog was going nowhere.
Failing to heed omens
What I don’t understand, though, is how they didn’t see it coming. There were plenty of harbingers of darkness along the way.
I mean, let’s start with the new “podcast network,” Rainmaker.FM.
It’s like a brand-new, shiny content platform. With a site like that, who has time for a dusty, nine-year-old blog with written words? Who needs written words?
I’ve seen plenty of ominous signs here behind the iron Copyblogger curtain:
- Jerod Morris confessed that he saw a raven with a broken neck in the middle of the footpath during his morning walk. (I just giggled like a school girl when I heard, and wondered what would happen to The Lede.)
- Jessica Commins, Executive Vice President of Operations, up and packed her family in a tiny boat and sailed into the Atlantic. The note she left behind said, “How do you make the dreams about the narrow tunnels stop?” All this just six weeks before our Authority Rainmaker event. Oh well!
- Chris Garrett was last seen staggering along the Trans-Canada Highway, complaining of a recurring dream about a demented apple tree sprouting from his heart.
- Tony Clark, Chief Operating Officer and Garrett’s co-host on The Mainframe, whined about a woman in white appearing around town.
- Brian Gardner sent a series of emails to all the employees screaming about the moths that were trying to get into his house. Someone said he’s got a limp and works at Starbucks now. So much for No Sidebar.
- Sonia Simone seems to have a little spunk in her. When she saw an owl in broad daylight, she immediately visited a local shaman. At least for now Confessions of a Pink-Haired Marketer is safe.
- Stefanie Flaxman just mumbles to herself about Oxford commas and hypnotically records another episode of Editor-in-Chief.
The only thing that keeps me from throwing a fit over this unhinged behavior is that lonely and wounded soul, Demian Farnworth. You should’ve heard him sobbing like a baby after he failed to respond to that chain letter.
“I’m going to die a horrific death, Pamela!”
In fact, it was so bad I was tempted to reach through the phone and pat him on the head. But alas, I was laughing too hard.
Maybe he’ll do all right with his harmless little podcast, Rough Draft. See? I do have a soft side.
To be honest, the only person who worries me is Brian Clark.
I hear he’s the CEO. Has some kind of power. But there are also rumors he’s into magic. Not surprising coming from a guy who’s got a podcast called New Rainmaker.
Seizing my moment
The thing you have to understand is that I’m a gal who’s used to getting her way.
Let’s get this straight. I didn’t name my podcast “Hit Publish” because I thought it would be cute. I did it because I like to punish people.
So as of today, the blog is no more.
Go ahead. Try and stop me. You don’t scare me, dear reader.
Wait a minute …
Whoa there. Hold on. Is this some kind of joke?
This is Pamela Wilson. All that above? That’s Demian Farnworth. Clearly, I need to have a little chat with him. Soon.
In the meantime, Happy April Fools’ Day. 🙂
I want to take a moment to let you know that not only are we not killing the Copyblogger blog, we’re going to be making improvements to it later this year.
Our plans are to:
- Make it easier to find what you’re looking for
- Give you a smoother, cleaner reading experience
- Continue to provide a mix of topical articles to help you become a better writer, content creator, and business person
Now, where’s Demian? He’s in big trouble …