Landing Page Makeover Clinic #23:

Landing Page Makeover Clinic #23:

Reader Comments (43)

  1. Just as an update – BabyNapsWell has been updated using many of the recommendations I made when this makeover was written. Site owner is seeing incremental increases and we’re continuing to tweak based on results.

  2. That was quite precise Roberta. Yes these fundas are quite clear when we talk about them but how to apply and execute is another game all together. Establishing oneself as expert, communicating as a friend and throwing an offer as a cult. That makes a great deal in online success. Do post the final results that this baby achieves 😉

  3. It already looks so much better. It’s clear, easier to navigate and it highlights the most important selling points in a much more compelling fashion. Nice work!

  4. Just a question, so this person was seeing 4% conversion – does that mean there were about 120 people purchasing the ebook each month (out of the 3k visitors?)

    Very nice review and very smart information.

  5. I sympathise with Nicole’s problem. It has bugged copywriters since time began. May I suggest that she does a lot of split testing.

    She won’t lose by split testing because her market is forever renewing itself with new mums. But what she will gain is a clear understanding of what works for her.

  6. Great article, Roberta! It’s nice to see you take the makeovers one step further than just critique and more into the land of “makeover.” 🙂

  7. @Roberta Thank you for your makeover and work with the changes!

    @Himanshu Exactly. That’s why I hired Roberta to help me execute. 😉

    @Scott No, the conversion rate is around 1.5% per month. I felt with Roberta’s help, we can get it to 4-5%, but we’ll see. 🙂 We are continuing to tweak and test.

    @The_Communication_Cycle Yes, I do plan to do split testing, too. I wanted to get a baseline with the new copy and then will test different titles + copy versions.

  8. Hi Roberta,

    Great article and makeover. Thank you very much. What I saw you do was implement many things I knew in theory. It really helps to have real live examples to understand how to do a landing page.

    Thank you!


  9. @Julia, that’s one thing I love about this series, having a concrete example makes it much easier to really see the technique in action.

  10. julia:

    I’ve just completely rebuilt a site I’ve had for the last 7 years and am just in the process of launching a new one in a new field.

    Quick question: I’ve removed almost all testimonials and instead have begun using “As Seen In” which is a graphic of all the professional journals that my articles have appeared in.

    Isn’t that a more powerful approach than testimonials which I have read are becoming more and more discounted by web visitors?


    Patrck Mcevoy

  11. I don’t see why you wouldn’t have both types of confidence boosters. They complement each other and provide ‘sweeteners’ for two different kinds of prospects.

    As far as discounting testimonials – prospects will ignore vague “It’s great!” AS in Illinois types of testimonials. But a strong testimonial with specifics provided by a real person or ‘name’ (like Brian Clark, Copyblogger – or moi) would carry far more weight and certainly not be ignored.

  12. This landing page makeover is great. I’ve got a few new improvement ideas for my own free report landing page at the same time.

    I agree that the title “Mastering Naps and Schedules” is quite unclear to me. I didn’t really know what it’s about by just reading the title.

    I’d also suggest to add a picture of a mom and baby sleeping together. Moms want to have more free time doing their own stuffs when the baby is asleep, but more importantly moms are having lack of sleep because the babies cry too often in the middle of the night. I think it’s great to emphasize that you as the mom get to sleep like baby too.

  13. @Ken Is the book title as confusing when you find it by searching for help with your baby’s sleep / naps? I chose not to implement this suggestion just yet as it means changing a lot of e-mail copy, book cover, etc. I wanted to see how all the other changes affected conversions and may do this later to test the impact. Good idea on the image of mom & baby sleeping. Thanks!

    @BrianJ I hope your newborn falls into a nice routine and if not, you know where to find me. 😉

  14. @Global_Micro_Brand Obviously, I’m not an expert like Roberta, but as a consumer “As seen in” is certainly good but when I’m asking myself whether something is for *me* another testimonial from someone *like me* might have more weight. In general, making me feel more confident in the product will go far. Good luck!

  15. Definitely get the picture of your cover above the fold, right near the headline area will help. Even though your customers are buying a virtual product, they want to see what they are buying. We all want to see something in a book’s form to gain emotional attachment to the purchase.

    Also, I like to include the actual table of contents for the e-book, in addition to bullets. It shows the customer exactly what they are getting themselves into, and it really decreases the returns.

    Only show images of babies sleeping soundly. There should not be a single awake baby in the whole thing. Only show an awake mom.

    Joshua Black
    The Underdog Millionaire

  16. G’day Roberta,
    Congratulations: to you for your excellent advice; and to Nicole for, as we say Down Under,”sticking her neck out” to benefit all of us.
    I couldn’t improve on your advice. But there’s one specific issue worth emphasising. It’s the difference between “features” and “benefits.”
    A quiet napping baby is a great thing. Believe me. I’ve had four and six grandchildren.
    But the benefit isn’t the sleeping baby. The benefit is what the parents are able to do because the baby sleeps through.
    A car that gives “50 miles to the gallon” is extraordinary. So is the money you save on gas. But the benefit is what you’re able to do with that money.
    I don’t pretend to imagine the benefits a couple might reap from nights uninterrupted by waking babies!
    But they’re the real benefits of buying Nicole’s book



  17. Leon, I agree … the benefit is the break for (usually) mom and a happy baby when awake. As the mom to 3 – who worked FT at home with all 3 – the ability to close my eyes during naptime was the only thing I wanted. 🙂

  18. Roberta,Thirty years ago I would’ve asked if I could “build on your idea.” You have sparked another thought.
    Another major beneficiary of our napping baby is the partner of the well rested mom.
    Here are a few wild notions;
    “How To Destress The Mother of Your New Baby for Only $37”
    “Is Your Beloved New Baby Wearing Your Wife[!] Down to a Frazzle?”
    “Want to Regain a Relaxed Wife and Rediscover A Smiling’
    Happy Baby?”
    They’re all rough and ready but I’m sure you get the idea.


  19. Um, I like your style, Leon, but I’m thinking it’s the bleary-eyed moms looking for nap-time relief who’ll buy and read this ebook. (I can see dads buying it, handing it off to their wives and partners and saying, ‘here, read this.’) 🙂

  20. Leon, that’s definitely a great idea, to target the partner of a mom. I believe though Nicole’s target audience is the moms who are having trouble with their baby sleeping schedules. To add the partner element would dilute the focus on the offer.

    It’s definitely something to keep in mind for future reference, but I’d think the best way is to focus on your ideal customer (moms). Maybe something like “More relaxing time for you and your husband”, “Destress Yourself and Rediscover a Happy Family”.

  21. @Nicole, if I’m searching for help with my baby’s sleep / naps, it might make sense but I don’t really know how the moms surf the net. I just think that it’s not 100% clear to me what you’re offering by looking at your title, although I could make a pretty good guess.

    And I agree, test and see how things go before changing anything. I know it’s a pain to have to change the cover and stuffs! Good luck with sales, keep us updated with your progress (at least the conversion rate).

  22. You should use secure hosting for you Paypal header because in IE I get a security warning = conversion killer.

  23. Hello,

    Thanks for this review.

    Re: Your step #8: — Edit, edit and edit some more, isn’t there a concern that with all that editing, there isn’t much copy left to help both users and the search engines learn about the page.

    Search engines need copy on the page to index it for competitive and long-tail terms, and with the content gone, how can that page hope to show up in the SE’s? Perhaps the conversion rate increases, but has the organic traffic decreased?

  24. Awesome review. It’s amazing how much time we put into making our content, often to only have it all count for nothing with silly errors like the ones you corrected. The site is very appealing now (if I was a mother with a baby who wouldn’t go to sleep I would probably buy the book!). Thanks for doing it in a way that we can all implement it into our own sites. Love these makeovers!

  25. These articles always really help me. Even when I think I know it all I get something new or get reminded about something I had forgotten. Please keep doing these makeovers, love them.

  26. @Risa – you bring up a good point about wanting to make sure there’s enough content for Google to index. However, editing isn’t about simply removing content. Editing is about stripping away the extraneous to reveal the gold within. The ‘gold’ is what Google will find and find relevant in its indexing. For prospective buyers who are skimming copy online, long, text-dense paragraphs just don’t get read or read as well as shorter, more concise ones.

    No reading? No buying.

  27. @Andrew Thank you for letting me know about IE, but I don’t see the warning. I’m not sure what settings I have are different. Hmm…

  28. Simple is for sure the best… especially with landing pages. With one of our clients, we have tried a lot of different landing pages, the ones that are simple and to-the-point have the best conversion rates. Hope the new design works well for you!

  29. Aside from all the copy changes – I think the site does a great job with the color tone. The soft cream colors, lack of sharp edges, and generous spacing make the page look relaxing – a lot like a house when a kid is napping. This is particularly good considering the sales letter format, which is typically loud, brash and in-my-face.

  30. @Jon – I loved the original color scheme for the reasons you cited so we made sure to keep them. Here’s an excellent example that shows long-form sales letters don’t have to follow a strict, screaming, in-your-face format.

  31. What a great source for conversion knowledge these clinics are. Thanks so much for doing this. I’ll be sure to check in regularly to see if there’s more!

  32. I just want to say some thing, first of all it’s an amazing post, second of all people don’t understand how important this is, if you increase you conversion rate from 2% up to 4%, it’s like you just got double traffic, charged twice the price or stuff like that, it’s easy to do and it’s worth the time.

    Thank you for the great post.

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